Today, I called him wishing him a happy birthday. I have to admit that I struggled a little bit whether I should call or not. I want to call because he is still somehow a special person for me. I want wish him happy on his day. I also couldn't accept the feeling of "we are totally none of each other's business" if I not call. I hesitate to call since I want to convince myself that I don't care anymore. I want myself to know that I don't have my emotion attached on this kind of stuff. I can live my life happily, alone. Don 't even bother wishing my ex a happy birthday. But it turned out prove that I am a very sensual person. I dialed the number. I thought to myself: if we did share some memories together, bitter or sweet, I should give this a person a call. Although I don't quite prefer to get in touched, I can't wrap up myself with the idea to delete this person totally from my life either. After all, we had something special before.

So we talked. He is back to Leesburg from UNC, where he will go to in the fall. That's the place offered me a place 2 years ago but I didn't eventually go. I feel happy for him. Everything turns out so well except us. Last summer, he left Boston with his "big decision" with no idea what that would bring to his life. But everything turned out to be the way we expected it to except us. The "Obama", the "big win for school", a better place than Baltimore.  I get a dream offer. But, we are not together anymore. Sometimes, I was wondering, if things didn't turn out to the the way we want, why God let them happen. I would feel way much better than I am if I hadn't met him. We are like two lines, come cross each other at one point, and then departure to separate ways.